I CAN'T BE YOUR SUPERWOMAN

The Myth Of Modern Pregnancy

“Pregnancy is not an illness,” a friend who has never been pregnant said to me casually via WhatsApp.

The phrase has become common in the modern world. At six months pregnant, after a very tough 5 months, a white hot rage was triggered, and despite my best efforts, I was furious, and I let myself enjoy the righteous anger against my much better judgment.

My wonderful husband had also said the same phrase at one point during the last few months, and he learned with a single look to never use such a sentence on me ever again, while our child uses all of my energy to become who she will be.

With both of my pregnancies, I’ve been a soldier down and, like most women blindsided by this reality due to the modern feminist mantra, “Pregnancy is not an illness,” as they perpetuate the lie that men and women are so much alike…we can’t even tell the difference anymore.

They say this with great confidence…even as this difference pinned me to my bed, even as this difference made it impossible to eat when I needed energy most… even when our ancestors understood and respected this difference to the point of recommending rest for most of the nine months of this epic journey.

“Pregnancy is not an illness,” and “A woman is an invisible feeling inside” have become so part of the culture that, as I waited at the doctor’s, not a single person offered me a seat. They were not aware that my lung capacity has reduced as my organs were pushed around, and not aware that my feet were killing me. You know, maybe I’m just identifying as pregnant for nine months; that’s what can happen to a modern mind when we disregard biological truth and replace it with fantasy and feeling.

A Duke University study found that pregnancy rivals elite endurance events, making it the most energetically demanding activity the human body can sustain, equivalent to running a 40-week marathon.

I understand that some women have said that “Pregnancy is not an illness” to push back against the over-medicalization of pregnancy… but for me, the sensation of running a 40-week marathon is utterly sickening.

Don’t get me wrong, I want this. I’m astounded and blessed. I wouldn’t change it, but what I would change is a society that has been shaped by modern feminism so desperate to compete with men that it will outright pretend reality doesn’t exist.

And I say boldly to this society, I can’t be your superwoman.

“Is it okay for a PM to take maternity leave while in office?” was a question presented to Jacinda Ardern in a viral interview when she famously became leader of the opposition party in 2017.

“It is totally unacceptable in 2017 to say that women should have to answer that question in the workplace. You can’t ask that. It’s not okay.”

We were all thinking, “You go girl,” but since having a child and waddling through my second pregnancy…I think it is a VERY important question for a country to be asking itself.

Pregnancy, birth, and a newborn are not just another thing to juggle. This is a monumental moment in a woman’s life that DEEPLY affects her ability to function.
I don’t say this to put women further back; I say this as a plea to a society.

Pregnant women need help. They need to be cared for.

What my husband has been doing the last six months and what I’ve been doing could not be further apart. Yes, he will now have paternity leave that will take him from his work for a few months - but a woman’s maternity leave scarcely covers the changes she undergoes. These are not interchangeable roles, and IF some women like Jacinda Ardern manage to make it work, I’m here to tell you ladies, the majority of you will be TAKEN DOWN.

As women put on the superwoman ac,t you will be completely blindsided, you will not expect this coming. You will feel like you’re failing somehow, while in fact, you’re creating life, you’re doing the very thing that keeps this whole show on the road.

This is not nothing, and it is not something I recommend women attempt to juggle with RUNNING A COUNTRY, or anything else epic for that matter.

I say this from a feminist perspective, I say this as a woman who cares about women, I say this as a woman who never wanted to have children and who was completely surprised to find that once I had my son, I wanted as much time with him as possible. Blown away that this now became the most fascinating project that anyone could offer me.

I write this to say, I can’t be your superwoman…and this is why I’m passionate about promoting the strength and health of the nuclear family structure. I’m excited to feel that when I give birth in January, this will be because my husband, my son and I all worked together as a team to make sure this came about safely.

I can’t wait to thank them for taking such good care of me.

I’m glad that they might know that I’m not a superwoman.

I’m a human woman, going to great lengths to create another human woman and this is not nothing. This is not something to have as a side dish.

This is miraculous.

We have gone from one extreme to the other, blasting through with a bulldozer without stopping to see what we are doing.

Like I said, traditionally, women spent most of their pregnancy in bed.

Is this necessary in the modern world? For most, I don’t think so.

For me? Yeah, I couldn’t move for two months.

But now apparently you can RUN A COUNTRY while pregnant.

I’m just not so sure this is a healthy feminist message.

I’m not so certain. And like I said, if some woman can…well, hooray! But. ladies, you do not have to be a superwoman if you have a loving husband. You do not have to be a superwoman if society begins to understand the truth of pregnancy and its cost.

You do not have to be a superwoman if you take off the cape, kick off the boots, and say…I need help.

And here, in this vulnerability, this accepting of limits, biology and truth…is the beginning of your family and your community…your true strength.

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Thank you for reading.