SO, YOU'RE CHRISTIAN-CURIOUS
HOPING LIKE HELL TO BELIEVE
You’re seeing the madhouse we find ourselves in.
Men are now women, and some other resource-poor, biological women can be paid to carry rich people’s babies because the sacrifice and miracle of life don’t fit their tight schedule.
And having a baby is just a job like any other, isn’t it?
Isn’t it?
And now, you’re thinking, oh no, this is all very weird indeed. And doesn’t that old Christian story that Grandma lived and swore by sound very sweet and sane? Perhaps you’ve even sat in a church and inhaled the incense, letting a silent scream stream out of you as you sang along to Hallelujah. BUT that’s as far as you can go... You’re a rational person, you can’t entertain imaginary friends, you would love to... but you can’t quite get your head around a God in the sky, a nice guy who turned water into wine, and a woman who conceived immaculately. You would “literally” die if someone you know saw you kneeling, crossing your heart, and hoping.
This post is for you, because you, my friend, are the old me. I mean that sweetly — I’ve been there — and I want to take a moment not so much to convince the Christian-curious, but to explain that you do kinda-sorta already believe in God. And this Jesus story that is stirring up a lot of excitement again is not only NOT bonkers, but a key to a healthy and meaningful life.
Let me explain…
My friend, who was raised Catholic but has since become agnostic — or, let’s say, apathetic to the spiritual — has recently started taking her child to church. She lives in a big village nestled in the forest of El Escorial, Spain, marked by a gigantic monastery built in 1584 by King Philip II. This monastery that sits in the middle of her town has sixteen courtyards; the Catholic romance is epic, and there in front of her, waiting to be taken up.
“I’m going to church,” she says, “but I can’t make that leap. I can’t believe it. I don’t have faith. But I want to. I really want to.”
As someone who was raised an atheist and is now a baby Catholic, I don’t feel it is my place to begin converting others, but I see an ache in my friend, a permission she is asking for, and I want to help give it to her — and others sitting on the edge of the church... hoping, like hell, to believe.
So, let me give my CASE FOR CHRISTIANITY, broken down into five bite-sized pieces:
EVERYTHING IS ENERGY
Life is energy. Science tells us that matter is energy in disguise — all those atoms spinning around, holding the form of a mountain, a cat, a child, or you, reading this on your phone.
If energy is the root of everything, then the question becomes: where does it all come from? Why does anything exist instead of nothing?
Is it really less rational to believe that a living Source — bursting with intelligence, love, and creativity — is behind it all, rather than chalking it up to a meaningless explosion that somehow birthed beauty, consciousness, love, grief, sacrifice, and hope?
Even the coldest physics now suggests there’s an “order” beneath the chaos. And order doesn't arise from nowhere.
Call it God. Call it the Logos. Call it the Word (as the Bible does). But the energy that moves this world... it has a heart.
When I speak to God, to Him — firstly, I don’t get my feminist knickers in a twist. You need a seed to start life, so the masculine idea makes sense. When I’m speaking to the masculine energy force, I’m connecting to the driver — God. When I’m praying to Mother Mary, I’m connecting to the feminine energy force — the peace, the patience, the powerful vulnerability that brings God’s will to life around us. When I think of Jesus, I think of the perfect combination of masculine and feminine energies, humanity and divinity. The images we see in churches are like icons on a computer that help us "click" on this energy force. They help our minds make sense of it. It’s not as weird as the modern world has made it out to be.
Thinking about things this way... is it really that hard to believe?
(If you’re still hung up on the idea that Christianity is anti-feminist, I explore this further in my piece Sacred Feminism: How Christianity Revealed My Worth.)
WORDS CREATE WORLDS
“I’m gonna manifest it.” Modern people say this a lot, and we sort of accept it now. We believe that thoughts, words, and energies can shape reality. Hope can work wonders.
If we can get this far... it’s not much harder to believe that the entire world came into being through words.
You might think the Bible is full of dusty old nonsense. I used to.
But then one day you really listen to it. You hear:
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
And suddenly it clicks — words create worlds.
The story you tell yourself becomes the life you live. The Word spoken by God created all of this. Your mind and heart, your memories, dreams, and hopes — all shaped by words.
Language is holy. Names are holy. God gave Adam the job of naming creation. It’s how we know, cherish, and protect things: we name them.
We were spoken into existence by a Love so wild and deep that it wanted to be known.
WE LIVE BY A STORY
Everything — absolutely everything — we think is filtered through a story we tell ourselves.
Atheism is a story. “I only believe what I see” is a story. I once lived in the story of epic materialism that said we are in ecological collapse, and there will be nothing to save us; we are a dripping tap about to flood a bathroom. I watched every drop and wondered why we live just to die, why we are born just to kill each other. I lived in that story for a good decade or so. It wasn’t a great story. (It’s not good for your skin, that’s for sure.)
And we can’t be certain it’s true either. We have no idea what the future holds, what values will shift humanity, or what inventions might save it.
“I’m a woman in a man’s body” is a story — because we have no idea what a man-feeling is exactly. It’s just a story some are taking so seriously they are willing to remove body parts and remove friends and family who don’t subscribe.
Everything is a story.
And as someone who has spent most of my adult life studying Story through theatre, film, and literature, I can tell you this: the Christ story lives at the core of all lasting stories. Themes like sacrifice, redemption, forgiveness, transcendence — you cannot have a story live longer than a few months in someone’s mind without Christ’s story alive within it.
CONSCIENCE IS OUR COMPASS
We carry within us a voice that says: "This is good. This is evil."
Conscience can be dulled or distorted, but it’s stubborn. It often accuses us even when we rationalise.
Where does that come from? Evolution can’t fully explain the demand for goodness, especially sacrificial goodness.
We all have our limits, but the voice is there.
It says things like, “No, I don’t think we should be renting wombs,” or “I think children have a right to know who their biological father is.”
We have this voice — I feel it is the God-voice — leading us to go against the crowd and follow our gut, even when the crowd is overwhelming, tempting, or convincing.
You can call it conscience and still go to church and call yourself a follower of that feeling that will not go away — that feeling that aches for you to ask for forgiveness, because these rules we feel ruled by are hard to follow.
METAPHORS BEFORE METAPHYSICS
I would argue that even if you can’t get your head around the metaphysics, you can be inspired by and pulled into mythology, which can lead you to Truth.
I’m part of a monthly marriage course at our church in Madrid, Spain. We analysed Genesis and the story of Adam and Eve as mythology — deep truths about the mystery of life. For example, when Adam and Eve suddenly realised they were naked in front of each other, it’s a metaphor for men and women desperately trying to hide their true selves. This is where distrust between the sexes begins.
It’s not about a guy and a girl who could be contestants on the reality show “Naked & Afraid of Love”.
I would suggest reading Jung and Joseph Campbell to get a sense of these stories and symbols passed down by your ancestors to help you connect with the divine and feel a sense of home and belonging.
So, that’s what I have right now as you, the Christian-curious, make this journey. I don’t even know if you need me to point this out to you. Small yellow arrows will point you in the direction you need to go.
But don’t forget:
Everything Is Energy.
Words Make Worlds.
We Live By Stories.
Conscience Is Our Compass.
Metaphors Matter More Than Metaphysics.
Next time you pass your local church, enter. Sit down.
This space is for you. It’s been crafted and handed down by your loved ones — a long line of lost lovers looking for the love of their life.
Put your palms together.
Close your eyes... believe.
Okay, so at church, this is the moment when someone comes around and jingles a little bag at you.
My hope here is simple: to share the Christian story, and to be part of the quiet spiritual revolution that’s bubbling up all around us.
If this has been meaningful or important to you, your support would mean the world to me — it helps me keep writing, sharing, and (hopefully) lighting a few more candles out there.
Consider it my virtual collection plate. No pressure, just gratitude.
IMAGE: "The Prayer" by Jean-Baptiste Greuze
The resurrection was something I struggled to believe for a long time. The most helpful conversation I had about it was with a young French nun that I met when I was staying in an abbey to improve my french. She told me that there are resurrections all around us everyday-such as in nature or in our life experiences. Flowers bloom and then die and then the seeds of the flower create more bushes and flowers. We may go through something different like the end of a relationship or through an accident but after the darkness, if we work through it, there is light. We become a resurrected form or our old selves. This explanation helped me to see the whole thing differently and to find it a little less difficult to believe. If you keep looking through life with the lense of faith it becomes easier. I also think everyone has doubts, so faith is at least partially a choice.
Very perceptive. Keep up your faith journey. I hope you have done, or will do, the Camino. That will strengthen you even more.